Today is the anniversary of the day that my husband and I got married. And one thing that I’ve been meaning to write is what this 1st year of marriage has taught me. Our first year of marriage has had its ups and downs. It’s been quite the whirlwind ride not to mention we started out the beginning of the year with a pandemic.
1)Not everything turns out the way you expect it to and that’s okay. 2020 has been for us – the year of cancellations. Every trip that we planned this year was cancelled and we’ve literally only been at most two hours away from our house. We’ve dealt with job loss, both expected and unexpected. Multiple different things have happened this year in ways that we didn’t expect to happen. But that’s okay, we will get through it together.
2) Having time apart is okay and necessary. At the beginning of the year when everything was shut down, we literally spent every waking minute together for the most part and we were around each other constantly. As wonderful as that was, when we were stressed out when things were really unknown, there were times we were at each other’s throats. Having time for yourself without your spouse and doing things separately or just having time apart for a few hours is really good for your relationship.
3) It’s okay to fight as long as you talk about what’s going on together. This one was a tough one to learn because my husband and I don’t normally fight. But one thing that I’ve learned is that after we have a fight, we usually discuss and apologize to each other after it happens. Communication is so important to a relationship. Discussing how you feel about something is important. Making sure that you are both on the same page about a disagreement and discussing how you feel and letting your spouse know how you feel, even if they really tick you off.
4) I thought I knew what love was. I know what real committed love is like, I watched it growing up from my parents and grandparents. Love – the thick and thin kind, that makes you love each other for better or worse, richer or poorer, you don’t really understand what that means until you get married. I love my husband fiercely and I am the one to admit that I am a very possessive person when it comes to my person. And he is without a doubt, my person.
5)The best way to date each other is to dream with each other. One of my favorite things to do with my husband is to talk about our future together. What we want to do, kids we want to have, trips we want to take, where we want to live. It’s just so wonderful to be able to dream with each other and confide in each other.
6)Love is complicated and wonderful. Nuff said.
7) Marriage should be recognized as the sacrament that it really is. Marriage is not just a piece of paper, or just a legal document binding you to another person, although many people do feel that way. Marriage truly is a sacrament. It means that your marriage literally is a blessing from God for you to be able to share your life with another person. In today’s world, not enough people see marriage as a sacrament. They see it as something that can be broken or dissolved. They don’t see the commitment that it takes to stay married, whether that be 5, 10 or 50 years. And the commitment to stay together for a lifetime, that is something that truly should be cherished and celebrated.
The main thing that I want to remember about my first wedding anniversary is that even though its not exactly the way I want it – even though we’re not taking a trip or going to a fancy dinner, it will still be just as wonderful because we are together, showing love to one another, just as we did on our wedding day.
That’s what my 1st year of marriage has taught me.
