I would like to preface this post – by saying I am by no means a relationship expert.
It seems to be that more and more recently I’ve noticed that people in marriages are getting divorced.These marriages have been going on for years, they have multiple kids, successful work and businesses, etc. And yet they are failing. There’s even a statistic that over fifty percent of all marriages will fail. And although I’ve heard of the Seven Year Itch, I really think that there is an underlying cause of society that is causing this to happen. What is this cause? Selfishness.
As a society today, selfishness is being prized above unity. It becomes what you and you alone want, not as a couple, but as an individual. Individuality has become sacred, prompting spouses not to give up themselves for their partner. Scripture would say that this is wrong. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. Again, if two can lie together, they are warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Genesis 2:18 says Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” A marriage is not about you as an individual but both spouses as a couple. You are meant to serve your husband or wife and they are meant to serve you likewise in ways that you both would like to be treated. You give up your “ME” mentality for a “WE” mentality.
There is no I in the relationship – there is only WE. You do things to serve the other person, not just yourself. You do things for the betterment of the other person, not just yourself. You do things for your family, not just yourself. When it comes to a family, you cannot just abandon it. Your spouse needs you, your children need you.
Most marriages today are not considered by the wedding parties to be sacramental. The marriage is a transaction, a piece of paper, there is little or no religious ceremony behind it and if there is – it is not considered to be a sacrament by the bride or groom.
It is all about the wedding, little or no prep work is done for the marriage, not even premarital counseling. Too many people focus on the wedding and not the marriage. The wedding is only one day and a marriage is a lifetime.
Another thing that is causing friction is that society today and the media is trying to pit women against men. What they do not realize is that men and women are complementary to each other. It is not just a “man’s world” and there are bad and evil men out there, but there are just as many honest and good men in the world. Good men who love their wives, love their families, help people in need, who work hard and are honest. There are bad and evil women out there just as there are good and honest women in the world as well. But it seems as if society is pitting women vs. men and are forgetting that women can be just as vicious against other women. When it should be that both sexes created equally should work harmoniously together.
Marriage is hard work, I’ve only been married for six months and I understand the time and sacrifice required of both me and my spouse. I’ve seen good and bad marriages, and I know that selfishness is a big reason as to why they fail.
Now this is not to say if your marriage is abusive, you should stay or if your partner cheats on you, you should stay. By all means those are cases in which the marriage itself should be carefully taken into consideration.
But to completely disregard your marriage – for the sake of what you and only you want, that is a recipe for disaster. You must give up your selfishness for the sake of your marriage. Is it going to be easy? No, we all want what we want. Sometimes though we don’t always get what we want and that’s what we need to remember. Our relationship with our spouses and with God, is more important than what we want. God especially is planning what is best for you and your spouse, not what you’re planning.
