Selfishness is evil. And yet, we’re all a little selfish from time to time. It’s a part of human nature. Mostly, I think we forget to act with charity. The definition of charity is to voluntarily give help to those in need. What makes this so hard in this day and age to help people?
I think to really look into the matter, we need to focus on two things: the materialistic view of the world today and the breakdown of the nuclear family. In today’s world, it is normal to have a materialistic view. What does this mean? Materialism isn’t just about having the newest and greatest things. It’s putting possessions and experiences above people.
Think about the people that you care about the most, whether that be your family or friends. How often are you willing to help them? What happens if they need you at a moment’s notice? Perhaps for days or weeks? Are you willing to help them in whatever capacity that they need? Or are you just….too busy? You have your own life, your own needs and wants. Maybe it’s just too much to take a day out of the week to help someone. I want you to look in the mirror right now because if you feel this way, you are not acting with charity at all. You are putting your own selfishness above people that you love. And that is wrong.
Now we need to focus on the breakdown of the nuclear family to better understand how that corresponds with this major problem of not acting with charity. The nuclear family itself is a husband, wife, and children. As the children grow up and have their own families, it extends the family to encompass everyone.
Back in the day, it was common for extended families to live near or with one another. People took care of one another, whether that was for childcare, taking care of the elderly, or even helping one another with work such as taking care of the year’s harvest.
In today’s world, many families forfeit those roles. In many cases, the young or the elderly or even the disabled are sent away for care instead of the family having complete control over the situation. This causes the interaction between those that are sent away for care and those that are making the decisions to be a matter of convenience. That’s not to say in some cases this isn’t the best decision for those people. Some older people truly need a nurse at a moments’ notice due to health reasons. Some children benefit from getting out of a dysfunctional household by going to a school, which provides structure. But by and large, many families forfeit their roles as caretakers for convenience. Many refuse to change their own family point of focus to help someone in the extended group.
Those who make those choices, lead to the breakdown of the family. By that, I don’t just mean divorce, they are broken down because the families are concentrating on taking care of the individual wants – not the overall family needs. You find that most extended families live far apart, in some cases, children live hours away from parents or even across the country.
The family structure breaks down. People become consumed by materialism in this way, taking their wants above the people that need help. Families grow up with no sense of familial community because of the lack of charity. A person within this breakdown is consumed with the individualistic materialistic mindset that the wants of the individual is above the good of the whole.
So how can we fix this problem? How can we do better about treating those that we love with more charity?
Examine your own heart for starters. Look at what is really truly important to you. If at any time, things come before people, whether they be consumer goods, vacations, animals, etc. then you are not behaving charitably.
Another thing is live by the golden rule. How do you want to be treated? Do you treat others the way that you would want to be treated? We are here on earth, not to be consumed by riches or things, but to serve others.
Lastly, put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Think of the time for example, when you will become elderly and will need help. Think of how you would feel if your loved ones took your sense of home away, only to be replaced by a nursing home where you may or may not get visitors. It’s been proven that with this pandemic, families are taking matters into their own hands, particularly with elder care, as COVID has decimated those communities where the most vulnerable lives.
Acting with charity is the best thing that we can do to help people. It is putting yourself in their shoes, treating them with the same respect and dignity that you would want to be treated, and above all, it is serving people in their time of need. God would not give us more than what we can handle, especially when it comes to the people we love the most, our family and friends.
